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Screaming on the Inside: The Unsustainability of American Motherhood
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About This Book
"If this book feels like it's sounding the alarm on the state of American motherhood, well, that's because it is." -- San Francisco Chronicle In this timely and necessary book, New York Times opinion writer Jessica Grose dismantles two hundred years of unrealistic parenting expectations and empowers today's mothers to make choices that actually serve themselves, their children, and their communities Close your eyes and picture the perfect mother. She is usually blonde and thin. Her roots are never showing and she installed that gleaming kitchen backsplash herself (watch her TikTok for DIY tips). She seamlessly melds work, wellness and home; and during the depths of the pandemic, she also ran remote school and woke up at 5 a.m. to meditate. You may read this and think it's bananas; you have probably internalized much of it. Journalist Jessica Grose sure had. After she failed to meet every one of her own expectations for her first pregnancy, she devoted her career to revealing how morally bankrupt so many of these ideas and pressures are. Now, in Screaming on the Inside, Grose weaves together her personal journey with scientific, historical, and contemporary reporting to be the voice for American parents she wishes she'd had a decade ago. The truth is that parenting cannot follow a recipe; there's no foolproof set of rules that will result in a perfectly adjusted child. Every parent has different values, and we will have different ideas about how to pass those values along to our children. What successful parenting has in common, regardless of culture or community, is close observation of the kind of unique humans our children are. In thoughtful and revelatory chapters about pregnancy, identity, work, social media, and the crisis of the Covid-19 pandemic, Grose explains how we got to this moment, why the current state of expectations on mothers is wholly unsustainable, and how we can move towards something better.
Reviews
"One of the book's most fascinating passages relates the experience of Eliza, a mother in the 1800s, who writes to her mother about her postpartum agony ..."
"Fierce, timely, unflinching ..."
"Though the info might not be surprising, this is a validating look at contemporary parenting."
"The myths surrounding motherhood are persistent, but the author empowers readers with the idea that they can help create change."
"Mothers struggling to keep their heads above water will find camaraderie in this empathetic outing."
"Grose's fiery compassion is matched by her profoundly complex understanding of the material and her trenchant, witty prose."
"She doesn't need to explain it to anyone."
"Grose covers topics like the idealization of motherhood, how to look at Instagram without feeling terrible, and what happened when the catastrophe of a still-unfolding pandemic met our already catastrophic lack of national support for caretakers of all types."
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