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Stranger Care: A Memoir of Loving What Isn't Ours

Stranger Care: A Memoir of Loving What Isn't Ours

by Sarah Sentilles

Random House ·2021 ·432 pages
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About This Book

The moving story of what one woman learned from fostering a newborn--about injustice, about making mistakes, about how to better love and protect people beyond our immediate kin May you always feel at home. After their decision not to have a biological child, Sarah Sentilles and her husband, Eric, decide to adopt via the foster care system. Despite knowing that the system's goal is the child's reunification with the birth family, Sarah opens their home to a flurry of social workers who question them, evaluate them, and ultimately prepare them to welcome a child into their lives--even if it means most likely having to give the child back. After years of starts and stops, and endless navigation of the complexities and injustices of the foster care system, a phone call finally comes: a three-day-old baby girl named Coco, in immediate need of a foster family. Sarah and Eric bring this newborn stranger home. "You were never ours," Sarah tells Coco, "yet we belong to each other." A love letter to Coco and to the countless children like her, Stranger Care chronicles Sarah's discovery of what it means to mother--in this case, not just a vulnerable infant but the birth mother who loves her, too. Ultimately, Coco's story reminds us that we depend on family, and that family can take different forms. With prose that Nick Flynn has called "fearless, stirring, rhythmic," Sentilles lays bare an intimate, powerful story with universal concerns: How can we care for and protect one another? How do we ensure a more hopeful future for life on this planet? And if we're all related--tree, bird, star, person--how might we better live?


Reviews

"But there are deeper lessons here, as Sentilles navigates an intractable system managed by overwhelmed, all-too-human souls ..."

Priscilla Kipp· BookPage Read review ↗ Top of the Pile

"In prose so gripping it reads like a thriller, Sentilles describes the choices that led to the moment when she and her husband are on the phone with a social worker, saying yes to fostering a 3-day-old girl ..."

Anna Nordberg· San Francisco Chronicle Read review ↗ Top of the Pile

"Some may bristle at the incessant comparisons of a mother-child bond with trees and insects and whales and ostriches and parrots ..."

Naomi Schaefer Riley· The New York Times Read review ↗ Maybe Someday

"Memoir lovers and book groups will be enthralled."

Annie Bostrom· Booklist Read review ↗ Top of the Pile

"The author sheds light on the system's racial inequity and its bias toward wealthy parents, and she writes with compassion ..."

Barrie Olmstead· Library Journal Read review ↗ Top of the Pile

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